A 'Love Is Blind' contestant says she regrets panicking when she found out her new fiancé was bisexual
- Carlton Morton and Diamond Jack quickly took to each other on "Love is Blind" — a Netflix reality dating show that challenges 30 men and women to fall in love without seeing their date.
- After only 10 days of "pod' speed dates the two got engaged — but Morton had yet to tell his fiancé that he identifies as bisexual, and has had relationships with men.
- Morton came out to Jack during the couples' group trip to Mexico. Jack reacted with shouting, name-calling, and tossing her engagement ring into a pool.
- Now, over a year after filming, Jack told People that she regrets her reaction and said, "I had questions because I've never been with a bisexual man."
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A couple on Netflix's hit reality dating show "Love is Blind" ended their engagement with a bang — filled with name-calling, a heated argument, and one of the contestants throwing their engagement ring directly into the resort swimming pool.
Carlton Morton, 34, and Diamond Jack, 28, quickly took to each other during their speed dates in the show's dimly-lit but well-furnished pods and even got engaged within 10 days of meeting each other.
But Morton hadn't told Jack that he identifies as bisexual, and had slept with both men and women.
Speaking to the camera, before telling Jack, he said he was worried that Jack would change her mind if she knew, because he had been rejected by women in the past for being bisexual.
In a move that therapists would not recommend, Morton decided to not tell Jack about his sexuality before they got engaged. Instead, he waited until the couples' group trip to Mexico.
Jack felt betrayed and that Morton was being dishonest with her. Experts say it's understandable that Jack felt betrayed that he kept a secret from her, but some viewers said her reaction fed into damaging stereotypes about LGBTQ+ people.
"How do you know I'm the love of your life?" Jack asked. "Do you ever feel like you need to go date another man?"
Morton says that is "the biggest misconception in the world" about bisexuals. "Why can I not be myself, what am I hiding for," Morton said with teary eyes.
"You can be yourself, I just need time to think about this," Jack said.
The conversation quickly devolves into fighting. Morton calls Jack a "b—-" before he tosses her diamond ring in the pool. Jack walks off quoting Beyoncé "watch my a– to the next d— boy," ending the short-lived, two-day engagement.
Last week, more than a year after filming, Jack opened up about their break-up, telling People that she regretted the interaction and the way she responded to Morton's sexuality.
"I would change the approach of it. I was trying to be very understanding, but I had questions because I've never been with a bisexual man," Jack said. "I don't really know that community that well, but I respect the community. I love the community."
One of the biggest misconceptions about bisexuals is that they are never satisfied with their partners
Unfortunately, Jack's initial negative response is not uncommon. Bisexual people face biphobia on a daily basis — and these microaggressions can come from the people they date.
As Morton told Jack, one of the biggest conceptions about bisexual people is that they are never satisfied with their current partner because they would rather be with someone of another gender, making them "serial cheaters."
"Being bisexual or pansexual doesn't make someone suddenly want to be non-monogamous and being monogamous also doesn't mean people don't experience attraction outside of their relationship," Jesse Kahn, the Director & Sex Therapist at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City, told Insider.
Aside from the direct microaggressions like refusing to date someone who is bisexual because the straight partner thinks they're really "just gay" or assuming a bisexual person will cheat, dating a straight person can result in internal distress for someone who is bisexual.
New findings presented at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality annual conference in 2019 found that for bisexual people in mixed-gender relationships, rates of sexual satisfaction were actually lower if they were out to their family, friends, and partners.
Researchers tie these results to the internal conflict bi-erasure creates for bisexual people in mixed-gender relationships called bi-erasure — or the fear that someone's identity as a bisexual person might be ignored and they might be thought of as straight.
Experts say the best way to support your partner coming out is by listening and reassuring them
Kahn said one of biggest pieces of advice they have for people who have partners coming out to them is to give them the space to be vulnerable and not immediately jump into asking questions.
"Start by just listening, not launching into questions, and thanking them for sharing this personal information with you," Kahn said. "You can preface questions with an affirmation of love, connection and acceptance, acknowledge your limitations and affirm that if you say anything shaming or rejecting it is your own ignorance and not them."
One of the first things straight partners should do when their partner is coming out is to try and unlearn some of the harmful stereotypes they've internalized about bisexual people.
"Many harmful responses are rooted in misconceptions that surface as shame, rejection, and fear," Kahn said. "To avoid being unsupportive and causing harm to your relationship, it can be useful to have a supportive space that can help you unlearn any misconceptions or assumptions that might be hurtful to your partner."
According to Kahn, coming out is about intimacy and signifies trust from a partner, so it's important to react accordingly by not judging a partner for being queer and hold space for them.
"And if the conversation doesn't go as smoothly as you wish, that's also okay," Kahn said. "We're not perfect and all we can do is our best and then work to rebuild trust. Working through conflict and rebuilding trust is an important part of every relationship."
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