A new dad keeps going on trips while his wife is taking care of their 11-week-old baby and Reddit’s blood pressure is boiling just as much as yours is about to be. The mom took to the forum to share her frustration with her husband’s travel plans and his demeaning attitude towards her. The first few weeks of maternity leave had been blissful, she began her post. Then, things took a turn.
“Today is the last day of my maternity leave, and I return to a job tomorrow that takes me out of the home 50 hours a week,” she wrote. “…My husband will go out of town for a week, be home for a few days, then go out of town again for another week. Only one of these trips has been for business; the rest are for sport.”
The new mom has tried to be supportive of her husband’s trips because she knows they are important to him. But he’s making it harder and harder for her to not feel frustrated and resentful. “The weekend before this last trip, he was super aloof, grumpy, and distant,” she explained. “He chose to revisit our eternal argument over money and finances, and for the first time he directed his frustration at my spending habits. Essentially, I was left with the directive to stop spending so much money, and don’t I dare make it sound like he’s the one stopping me from spending.”
The husband added: “There are stay-at-home moms everywhere who do this with less money and more kids.” There’s that blood pressure boil point we mentioned earlier. The mom is exhausted. She’s potty training, breast feeding, doing chores and getting ready to go back to work.
“I feel so much rage,” she noted. “When my toddler and infant are both screaming and needing me and I have to use every bit of patience to regulate my own emotions and stay calm, I am left with nothing but anger at the end of the night.” Her husband is returning from his trip tonight and Reddit hopped in with a whole lot of support and a whole lot of fury.
First of all, many, many people could not wrap their heads around the fact that this dad was going on vacations in the first place. “He’s not your partner he is living like a bachelor while you’re holding down the home and raising his children. He’s useless,” one person declared. “He’s going on vacations alone while you have a newborn and a toddler. I can’t believe you’re with this man. Who cares about your spending, how much do these trips cost?” Another added: “Three kids, one a toddler and one a newborn, it needs to be all hands on deck. Husband needs to let his sport hobby go, stay home and support you and contribute to the family management. The situation he’s put you in is unsustainable.”
Dads hopped in to say that there’s no way that behavior would fly in their household. “My wife would literally have had divorce papers waiting for me, taped to the front door that had its locks changed while I was gone,” a husband wrote.
We really hope this mom is able to get the emotional and physical help she so very much deserves right now. And, as one other Reddit user sagely noted, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
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